or, stuff that I dragged out of my head

Location: Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada

Friday, June 24, 2005

Clamping Down

This is how you know you are in Atlantic Canada and not, say, Nome or Addis Ababa or Montevideo: a local cell-phone company is having a promotion in which, when you sign up for their plan, you get two phones, the cool kind with cameras in them (this will be relevant shortly), and four free lobster.

I have nothing against that. I'm a sort-of kinda mostly vegetarian, but no power on Earth could keep me from eating lobster if it were offered to me, because it is so good. What I object to is their advertising slogan: "Get snap'n!"

Why do they do this? Is it just to vex me? Do they want to piss me off and vow never to use their services? That doesn't seem like good business sense.

The cheap pun? I can live with that. Cameras snap! And so do lobster! Get it? Get it? But we all know that apostrophes are used to denote a missing letter from a contracted word, and the nonexistent "snap'n" has two sets of missing letters; if they were to use it--if I were to allow them to use it, which I certainly would not--it would have to be "snap'n'". No, what they were after is "snappin'". And I want to smack them briskly across the face and tell them to smarten the hell up.

I think I've used up my quota of italics for the time being.

Interesting that the plural of "lobster" is either "lobster" or "lobsters", depending on...well, depending. But they're both correct. Sort of like "fish" or "fishes", I would imagine.


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