or, stuff that I dragged out of my head

Location: Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Killer Wheels

This morning I was walking to work through a car lot and couldn't help but notice big signs that read

See the all-new 2008 Dodge Avenger!

("Avenger", if you were wondering--I know I was--is from French "vengier", "to vindicate", which in turn is from Latin "vindicare", which is also clearly the source of English "vindictive".)

Remember when the cars for the next year would come in September or so? Now it's April. For all I know, they were in the showrooms in March. What the hell?

Anyway. This afternoon I went to see "Grindhouse", which I enjoyed about two thirds of. The Robert Rodriguez half, "Planet Terror", is wonderful--a dizzyingly over-the-top zombie horror movie. The fake coming-attractions trailers are also inspired. About ten minutes of the Quentin Tarantino half, "Death Proof", is decent, but most of it is just incredibly tedious blah-blah-blah, people endlessly talking to show what a clever writer Tarantino is, and then an exciting car-chase sequence and an ending which is supposedly an homage to, but is actually a ripoff of, "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!"

So, not a fan of Tarantino.

Anyway again. "Death Proof" is more or less about a serial killer who kills with his car instead of a knife or a gun, and what I want to know is, why on Earth would Dodge name a car "Avenger"? Isn't that pretty much tempting someone to kill with it? Have they forgotten that words have meanings? I can see naming a car something fast (Impala, Mustang), something adventurous (Explorer, Land Rover), something exotic (Lumina, Infiniti). But "Avenger"? Jesus. That's crazy. That's just asking for a lawsuit.


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