Stream of Consciousness (With Caps) (And Boots)
It's WINTER and do I have boots? I DO NOT. I must have thrown out last year's pair in a rare spasm of cleaning, probably because they didn't fit all that well and I'd buy a new pair this year, which I TOTALLY FORGOT TO DO until of course it SNOWED LIKE CRAZY last night. I don't know what the DEAL is with me and boots. I JUST HATE THEM. If I ever go to my mother's in the winter she's in a STATE OF DESPAIR because I'm not going to have any boots with me, and then how am I supposed to shovel the ENDLESS MOUNTAINS OF SNOW they get up there in her part of the world? So I have to borrow my stepfather's and they don't fit all that well.
So this morning Jim says to me, "We're going to have to buy you some new boots today," and I guess we are, because we are in EASTERN CANADA and it is WINTER and by god it is going to SNOW and SNOW and SNOW SOME MORE for the next week.
"FINE," I said, "but they're going to be GLAM AS FUCK with eight-inch platforms and TONS OF FUCKING SEQUINS."
"No, they're just going to be regular boots. Probably from Wal-Mart."
And they are. I was JOKING. Not all gay guys want glam and sequins! Some of us have THE MOST BORING taste imaginable and just want to be WALLPAPER, and I am one of those people. As long as I smell good and am decently covered, I say whatever to clothing.
Looking at the word "boots", you'd think it would be one of those Old English things that just kind of fell out of someone's mouth and stuck around, like "dog"--it's not like they didn't already have two perfectly serviceable word streams, the Germanic ("hound", from "Hund") and the Latinate ("canine", from "canis"), but NO, not good enough for the Old English! Gotta have a whole 'nother word!
Not "boots", though. It's related to French "bottes".
God, it's TOO FUCKING EARLY. I have to go back to bed and try to IGNORE ALL THIS SNOW.
So this morning Jim says to me, "We're going to have to buy you some new boots today," and I guess we are, because we are in EASTERN CANADA and it is WINTER and by god it is going to SNOW and SNOW and SNOW SOME MORE for the next week.
"FINE," I said, "but they're going to be GLAM AS FUCK with eight-inch platforms and TONS OF FUCKING SEQUINS."
"No, they're just going to be regular boots. Probably from Wal-Mart."
And they are. I was JOKING. Not all gay guys want glam and sequins! Some of us have THE MOST BORING taste imaginable and just want to be WALLPAPER, and I am one of those people. As long as I smell good and am decently covered, I say whatever to clothing.
Looking at the word "boots", you'd think it would be one of those Old English things that just kind of fell out of someone's mouth and stuck around, like "dog"--it's not like they didn't already have two perfectly serviceable word streams, the Germanic ("hound", from "Hund") and the Latinate ("canine", from "canis"), but NO, not good enough for the Old English! Gotta have a whole 'nother word!
Not "boots", though. It's related to French "bottes".
God, it's TOO FUCKING EARLY. I have to go back to bed and try to IGNORE ALL THIS SNOW.
posted by pyramus | 6:08 AM
2 Comments:
In the immortal words of Cecil Adams, "Observe the snow. It fornicates."
Oh, Cecil Adams! He's awesome! I used to have all his books, until a few years ago I simultaneously realized several things:
1) I have too many books
2) Books are really heavy and hard to move
3) Everything is on the Internet anyway
So I got rid of so much stuff: Cecil Adams, Miss Manners, Roget's Thesaurus, a bunch of other dictionaries, basically ninety-five per cent of my reference material, though I kept the OED, because
1) It was a treasured gift
2) I'm too cheap to pony up for the online or computer versions
3) Some things are nicer in tangible form.
Anyway, "look at all this fucking snow" indeed. It's snowing right now! It won't stop!
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